21 nerds plus one intern who's been missing since we asked him to investigate the secret in the well.

ROLE: Spiral Lead

POWERS: Cranky texting, podcasting, meeting convening

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Google Glass

NICKNAMES: Senor Spreadsheets, AARLee, Senior Technical Fungus

ROLE: Developer and devout runner… but what's he running from?

POWERS: Tall

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Detained by TSA for smuggling frozen steaks from Austin to SF in carry-on bag

NICKNAMES: The Burj Codelifa

ROLE: Developer, web games during meetings

POWERS: Chaincode annual pass

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: HTML, basic CSS

NICKNAMES: Plenty but they can only be spelled out or spoken during thunderstorms

ROLE: Code Caeser

POWERS: Passing resemblance to Sam the Eagle, eternal youth

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: LDK's helicopter dad

NICKNAMES: Polly Pocket

ROLE: All of 'em

POWERS: Fitting through the cat flap, nerd juggling

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Still sane after countless carpools with Steve

NICKNAMES: The Frizz

ROLE: PM, grantee herder

POWERS: Avoiding Signal group drama via the possum approach

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Only normal person at Spiral

NICKNAMES: Miami Viceless, Johnny English, The Gov'ner

ROLE: No idea, probably a developer

POWERS: Punctual

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Last name that sounds like Scooby Doo saying “uh oh”

NICKNAMES: Rust Rascal

ROLE: “Bitcoin Wizard”

POWERS: Permanently on vacation aesthetic, vibes

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Head of Spiral's Maryland division

NICKNAMES: Cargo Pockets McGee, Dad

ROLE: Intern

POWERS: Barberphobic, uncommonly gentle soul

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Dog owner

NICKNAMES: King Kog

ROLE: Another developer

POWERS: Apostasy

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: One of the three most influential Lightning developers named Wilmer

NICKNAMES: Brutus

ROLE: Take a wild guess

POWERS: Hand raising

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Having a question

NICKNAMES: No need for one, names don't get cooler than Joost Jager

ROLE: Developer, true believer

POWERS: Born wearing glasses

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Minor celebrity within the bitcoin community

NICKNAMES: This fucking guy

ROLE: Developer but you can pretend he's anything else, he doesn't care

POWERS: Suspiciously happy to be here

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: 1980s TV cop show name

NICKNAMES: Golden Retriever

ROLE: PM, Canadian, Canadian PM

POWERS: Canadian

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Canadian

NICKNAMES: Matty Maples

ROLE: Creative director, aspiring failed novelist

POWERS: Single-handedly carrying the team's joke quotas

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: None

NICKNAMES: Gorp

ROLE: Developer number ah who are we kidding we're not keeping track

POWERS: Polo shirts

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Zero controversial anything

NICKNAMES: Good Samaritan, Conor #2

ROLE: Law and finance department

POWERS: Encyclopedia de Limp Bizkit Lyrics

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: iPhone dentistry (don't ask, it's gross)

NICKNAMES: Trampoline Scarface

ROLE: Bicycle-loving Dutchman, how original

POWERS: Haircut from the early 2000s

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Travel startups, explaining how name is pronounced

NICKNAMES: Douwe

ROLE: Flaunting safety protocols

POWERS: Blah blah tech jargon blah blah

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Legos

NICKNAMES: Rainbow 6-7

ROLE: Pretending her husband can cook

POWERS: Finds Ken funny

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Afraid of cats, doesn't know how to make a sandwich

NICKNAMES: Panda

ROLE: Master of the Dark Arts

POWERS: “Too good at maths”

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Mac Mini collection/addiction, made it to adulthood despite Australian flora and fauna

NICKNAMES: Roy Fielding Jr.